


Freedom Comes with a Heavy Heart

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Fluff, Supernatural Elements, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Rick and Daryl’s love transcends time, it’s a love that changes them both.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was supposed to be 3 chapters but I couldn’t get the third to go the right way. Oh well!

Daryl. It was all Rick ever worried about, his home life was terrible. The marks to his back were not as harsh as the scars upon his mind. It took Rick almost three months to get the teen to say more than two words, six months to admit they were friends, a year to get close and well two years to finally kiss. Rick loved him, more than anything in his life, he was only seventeen and had his entire life in front of him, dreams of the ivy league school he knew he had to attend. The pressure his parents put on him was extreme, if they knew Rick’s capabilities or who he loved they would probably lock him up. Rick closed his eyes and didn't even knock on Daryl's bedroom door before barging in.

“You're lucky pa is out on another bender.” Daryl grumbed, barely looking up from his vintage batman comic.

Rick didn't bat an eye at the comic but briefly wondered how much it was worth.

“When is he not out?” Rick asked, he never worried about Dary’s pa catching them.

It was impossible to run into him anyway.

“Pssh, you got a point.” Daryl finally stood up and threw the comic behind him.

It bent as he did so and Rick only grimaced a little as he took a step forward and kissed Daryl.

“I missed you.”

“You see me every day.” Daryl rasped between a kiss.

“Yeah but…” Rick kissed him. “It’s never enough.”

Daryl gave him another peck, not seeing Rick’s slight frown. He hid it away and smiled, collapsing on the dirty mattress with no bed frame in sight. His boyfriend sat next to him and nuzzled in. Rick put an arm around him and Daryl hissed but only pulled away a smidge.

“What’s the damage?” Rick asked with a wince.

“Nothing your touch and company can’t heal.”

Rick had heard that enough but it never got old, he let it go to be the rock Daryl needed.

“After I graduate we can build a house on a lake, Maybe adopt a kid or two, have a good life with no neighbors.” Rick said dreamily.   
  


Daryl laughed. “Yeah right. Two queers adopting. Besides I don't even know if I want to be a dad and when you attend Yale or whatever you will meet a pretty brunette. A girl.” Daryl made a point of saying the gender part louder. “You will forget about me but that’s okay because I will never forget you.”

It wasn’t true, couldn’t be. No one could be better than Daryl and he hugged him tighter and kissed his cheek, trying to memorize his scent, the smile only given to him. All of it.

“The world has changed. We could adopt two kids, a boy and a girl.”

Daryl chuckled harder at that. “You've lost your damn mind.”

Rick let his hand be squeezed and pushed Daryl down into his mattress, kissing him soft and sweet, grinding into his lover, spurned on by his moans.

“Daryl Dixon. I’ll never stop loving you.”

Daryl rolled his eyes but those blues told him another story, that Daryl felt the same.

———————————————

University was hard, Rick put his hours in and since Daryl had no landline he couldn’t talk to him. It was hard but they both knew nothing had changed between them, the love they shared was quiet but unstoppable. Rick watched the months pass, the seasons change. He worried about the harsh winter and how it affected Daryl in that tiny shack that couldn’t be called a home, with no hearing and air. In summer the heat beat down in Georgia harsher and there was no way Dary could be happy. He imagined Daryl tearing the sleeves off his shirt and sweating, glistening in a sheen of smoldering heat and he had to hump his pillow.

“Daryl.” He whispered.

Daryl looked down at his only photo of Rick and smirked, he couldn’t believe he had someone like Rick to call his own. Pretty bright blues and a curly mop of dark curls. Perfect, except his questionable clothing choices. Who the fuck wore clothing like that?

Soon enough Rick would return from his school break, it was enough. Any time with Rick was enough.

———————————————-

Christmas time was here and Rick breathed easily, driving home he strummed a tune against his steering wheel. It was time to see Daryl and he couldn’t speed fast enough to get home.

Rick exhaled and jumped up a few times excitedly as he looked at his parent’s mansion. It meant nothing to him, with university and his own life in front of him it wasn't his home any more and there was only one good thing about that place. He smiled, thinking of the big pond and the small house he could have with Daryl. Frowning for a moment he shook the pain away, it reality wasn’t something he tried to think too much on.

Daryl laughed at the knock to his bedroom door and ran to open the door.

“Rick.” The teen practically leaped on him, he was leaner and stronger, tanner.

Rick kissed him and closed the door, not worried how loud it banged shut. When he pushed Daryl onto the bed and breathed in his scent he took in the broken lava lamp on the floor.

“You should throw that away, it’s a hazard.”

Daryl pulled him in to kiss him deeper. “Or a good weapon if I need to stab pa.”

“Not funny.” Rick shook his head.

His eyes turned teary and when a finger swiped against his cheek he looked down. 

“Hey, I was only half joking,” Daryl attempted to perk him up.

“What’s the date?” Rick had to know.

“December 18th dumbass.” Daryl sighed and wrapped his legs around Rick.

“1990?” Rick joked.

Dayrl just huffed and thumped Rick’s head. “Doofus.”

When Daryl whispered the year, biting Rick’s ear, thinking he was a weirdo Rick held him closer and kissed him deeper. He loved this man too damn much, ignoring the pain in his chest he rubbed Daryl's ass and sat up to read him sonnets. Daryl loved that, more than a good fucking, well almost and definitely more than talking which really wasn’t his thing. 

‘Today is perfect.’ Rick thought.

He winked at Daryl and turned the page reading and reading, until his throat was raspy and Daryl whispered they should chance a sleepover, that maybe pa wouldn’t catch them. Rick knew his pa wouldn’t see them together, if he did Daryl would be dead.

“I missed you so much.” Daryl told him.

Rick couldn’t take his hands off of him, kissing everywhere he could get to, caressing his thighs and chest as he pumped into him. The future didn't matter, only right now and that was enough. Rick ignored all the new scars mixed in with fresh bruises and cuts. Daryl was a year younger than him, he wished Daryl could get out of this but knew he wouldn’t.

When he closed Daryl’s bedroom door in the morning and walked out he forced himself to breath. Nothing he could do would change a thing and yet he pulled out his laptop and drank a pot of coffee researching as if he was somehow wrong.

When Rick left the day after New Years he drove back to school slower, feeling defeated. He cursed at himself, if he was different, maybe things would be easier.

———————————————-

Valentine’s Day wasn’t a school break but Rick skipped school and drove home, lied to his parents that school was out and prayed they didn’t check the university calendar. Rick told himself it wasn’t desperation when he brought the biggest bouquet of red roses, chocolate from Senoia’s oldest candy shop, and it was easy to shell out a good chunk of his savings on a vintage record of the Beatles, never opened. Daryl would love it.

It was easier knowing his parents weren’t home when he drove up to the front of the house and unlocked the door, getting all the gifts together in a big gift bag.

Daryl was slow to open the door when Rick knocked.

“Rick! What are you doing here?”

Rick shoved the flowers in front of his face and beamed. “I couldn’t celebrate today without my favorite guy.”

Daryl blushed and shyly took the roses, Rick didn’t miss how he subtly smelled the bouquet and beamed. 

“This is all rather gay Rick, unorthodox really.” Daryl grumbled.

Still, Daryl held the roses close to his chest and grinned.

“Don’t be offended if you come by tomorrow and the roses are gone man, pa will have a conniption fit if he saw them.”

“I get it.” Rick frowned. “It’s the thought that counts and my thoughts never leave you.”

“I didn't get you anything.” Daryl bit his nails, blushing at Rick’s latest love confession.

“It’s okay.”

“I mean two guys celebrating Valentine’s Day, it’s unheard of.”

Rick sat down on the bed and put the gift bag on the floor.

“I should take back that down payment on our dream home then.” Rick joked.

“Haven’t met that dream girl yet?” Darl saw the bag, knew more gifts were coming.

He didn’t deserve them, deserved Rick even less and the man was too dumb to see it. Rick deserved better than him, dirty and fucked up.

Ignoring him Rick picked up the remaining gift bag, handing it to Daryl.

“Sweet!” Daryl gasped and looked at the album and then gasped at the chocolates.

“Senoia sweets, fancy. New wrapping? I thought they were behind on the times.” Daryl traced a finger down the gold foil, mesmerized by a type of packaging he had never seen before wrapped with a rich red bow.

Rick snatched the box back and opened the box, picking up a chocolate to feed to Daryl.

“Good?”

Daryl nodded and took a second bite, licking up Rick’s finger and sucking it in. At the action Rick pressed the rest of the chocolate in and straddled his boyfriend, ignoring his welts, how skinny and pale he was getting. Forgetting was getting harder to do.

Daryl didn't want him to leave after they made love but pa would be back soon and it was getting late. Rick wasn’t talking much, could barely look at him. 

“You know I will always love you right?”

“Yeah Rick, I still think you should move on and I wouldn't be mad if you did but you’re my...my everything.”

“Even though I can’t save you?” Rick couldn’t help but to cry as his voice broke.

“But you have, a guy like me doesn’t deserve anything and look at me! I got the sweetest, most attractive boyfriend.”

There was so much Rick wanted to say but it would never be enough, his throat hurt from all the crying he did this week, Nothing made sense and he was just so angry, he was always repressed when it came to being mad but now it overwhelmed him and the grief was mounting.

“I don't know what’s going on with you Rick but I love you and you're smarter than anyone else I know, whatever is wrong it will work it’s way out. Things always do right?”

Rick smiled until Daryl added more to his words.

“Unless you're a Dixon.”

Rick couldn't cry any harder, didn't want to freak Daryl out so he grasped his face and peppered him in kisses and tugged him closer. He smelled his hair, his armpits, hugging him tighter. It felt wrong when Daryl went to pee that he stole one of his shirts, a brown flannel one with uneven ripped sleeves but he had to do it.

There was never enough time whether you knew the future or not so when Daryl came back he told him he loved him once more, kissed him long and sweet and pulled the man’s chin up when he told him goodbye, savoring everything that was his Daryl.

———————————————

When Rick opened his eyes he was alone in his room, it was too much so he crashed to the floor and cried himself to sleep.

It was past midnight when Rick Grimes woke up, he dragged his ass off the hard floor and groaned at his aching back, it didn't compare to his heart.

Why he was such a damn glutton for punishment he didn’t know but he went to the computer and googled words he read a thousand times already. When the results he tried to find weren’t there Rick went to other search engines and searched in vain, not finding what he wanted or rather didn't want to find. The bookmarks saved on his laptop came back with “page not found” errors and he blinked.

It was unexplainable so he closed his eyes and relaxed his breathing but nothing changed, something was wrong. Pulling out a printed article stored at the very back of his desk, as if anybody plundered his room he cried and read what he couldn’t online.

_ Daryl Dixon, age 17 was found murdered today at his house in Senoia, GA. The teen was stabbed multiple times in an altercation with his father Will Dixon. Neighbors and teachers claimed to have no knowledge of the abuse he endured over the years that ended with his life. Will Dixon, 56 has been charged with his murder at his awating trial with no bail at Senoia County Jail. Daryl Dixon was buried at Potter’s Field when no family came to claim his body. _

Rick’s chest tightened as he heaved, reading it didn’t help so he went back to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Time doesn’t make things easier, the questions of why Rick couldn’t find one article on Daryl Dixon was almost enough to make him insane. There was no way to find Daryl's unmarked grave to begin with but now he tried harder and harder to find any remnants of his memory. There weren’t any leads and the grave would never be found so Rick tried his best to keep on living and making his one true love proud.

A year passed where Rick went to therapy and lied about a dead boyfriend named Denny who died tragically. It helped even though a little of what he said had to be twisted, he couldn’t talk about his gift but it didn’t seem to matter. In the past where Rick got to have one last talk with his Granny or saw his old teacher Mrs. Lee right after she passed, now when he closed his eyes he never saw the past, not even the strangers who rarely showed up to speak to him.

It was damn hot and Rick tried to hurry across campus back to his dorm, a place he used to try to leave at breaks to rush to his parent’s home, to see Daryl. Now the home brought him nothing but grief so he went to school in the summer and would graduate earlier, it was a win win situation.

Rick learned to be somewhat grateful for his gift, if he could call it that. It did find him love even if it couldn’t last. Four years ago Rick closed his eyes and met a stranger named Daryl Dixon, he thought it was a one off like any of his other episodes but the boy kept coming and he liked him. A simple internet search and he realized that Daryl lived in a shack in the 60’s and had been violently murdered by his father, That was disturbing but as Rick saw Daryl more and fell in love it cut deeper. Over fifty years ago a poor, abused teenager lived on the very same land, his room the same exact room that was now Rick’s and even though he tried not to, he fell in love. 

Remembering Daryl was bittersweet, the memory of him could leave him with a smile or a laugh as much as a deep despair that made him cry like he lost Daryl all over again. Time healed wounds he discovered but couldn’t make them disappear. It was amazing that one day he could not even think about the only one he ever loved, the next he could just reminisce, and the next he could cry and feel like he couldn't get out of bed.

All Rick knew for sure was he would work his damndest to get that internship and excel, then find a big city job next to a small town and live there on a small patch of land with a pond. Rick didn't want to live the rest of his life alone and could only hope that if he met someone else and could officially move on that they would love fishing and maybe come from the South.

Rick was so lost in thought he barely registered the broad chest he clashed into.

“Watch where you’re going!” A man snapped.

Rick blinked and looked up, not believing what he saw, a guy that looked almost like Daryl. His hair was blonder and he was a bit shorter but he could be Daryl’s twin and of course he wore a gray shirt with the sleeves ripped off.

“Sorry, uh I was lost in thought.” Rick stammered and shook his head.

He almost passed out when Daryl smiled at him and crossed his arms, his shoulders bulging out. “It’s okay I guess.”

His Daryl was brass, didn’t talk much but this guy was pretty and his southern drawl lured him in.

“I uh…” Rick was overwhelmed.

“I’m Daryl Peletier Jr., It’s my first semester here.” Daryl’s eyes bugged out at his oversharing of information.

“Rick, almost in my third year.” Rick’s knees started to buckle.

The name caused Daryl’s eyebrows to shoot up but he put a firm hand on Rick’s arm, the man was unsteady and even though he didn’t like people in his own personal space he felt the urge to help.

Like word vomit Daryl stunned himself when he looked into pretty blues and made an offer. “Want to get a drink?”

——————————————

Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense, that’s what Rick learned at 20 years old. Finding love with a ghost that doesn’t know he’s going to die, losing a paper trail that that person ever existed, then meeting his son who goes to your school and falling in love with him makes even less sense.

Daryl Peletier was sassy and confident, he never bit nervously at his fingers or hunched in his shoulders but he liked his space and was bad at feelings. Daryl Jr. could get angry but he was sweet and had no shame that he was gay, he held Rick’s hand when they went out in public and dared anyone to have a problem with it. He rode a vintage bike and talked about his dad like he was a God.

Rick wasn’t sure if Daryl Dixon was still alive and some older man in his 50’s if he could fall in love with him again. Would he look like an older version of the ghost he fell in love with or would he have changed completely? Maybe he would have turned bitter from all the abuse at his pa’s hands.

It didn’t matter anyway because Daryl Dixon was dead.

Somehow getting to know Daryl Jr. slowly and hearing stories of a different past than the one his old lover was supposed to get made things easier. 

According to Daryl Jr. his dad fell in love with this boy named Rick which he found weird because he met a Rick too. Rick lied about his last name for months and found out a lot like Daryl Sr. was never angry when after Valentine's Day his boyfriend never showed back up. He assumed the boy moved on but he would always tell his son he knew Rick was still out there and loved him even if his dumbass finally decided to move on. The last name Peletier was one Rick heard before, it was Daryl’s best friend Carol’s last name. Rick never was able to “visit” anyone in Daryl’s life but heard of her often and she was the only one there for Daryl other than Rick.

Daryl Sr. got drunk one night pining over the loss of Rick because of course it still hurt and in the grieving moment slept with Carol and she got pregnant. They raised Daryl Jr. together and Daryl changed his last name legally after his pa died, taking his son’s name. As Daryl Jr. told Rick “My dad wanted the Dixon curse to end and so after leaving his pa in the middle of the night and living years with his last name when his pa died he just let it all go.”

At least it made one thing make more sense, why he couldn’t find anything on Daryl.

It was hard not to cry right then when Daryl Jr. told him the main reason his dad had the courage to leave his pa was he knew Rick wanted a better future for him. 

When Rick got back to his dorm, thankful his roommate was gone he cried but it was tears of happiness.

An entire year and half passed when Rick finally decided to tell his truth. He was a clairvoyant or something like it, he could see ghosts, talk to them. He expected Daryl not to believe him or laugh but he shrugged his shoulders and accepted it. It took more time until Rick admitted to Daryl that he knew his dad, that he loved him.

It was fucking weird for both of them but Daryl Jr. was mature like his dad, their relationship was too deep and they worked passed it.

Rick told himself it didn’t matter that Daryl Sr. only passed away two years ago, his new lover also didn’t judge him at Thanksgiving when they went home to meet Carol and Rick found himself asking to visit Daryl Sr.’s grave.

————————————————

Winters don't get too cold in Senoia, GA. Daryl Jr. worked at a garage and Rick commuted to Atlanta to work. They lived together in a small cabin with a pond, his lover telling him how much his father would love the place. Sometimes Rick acted like he didn’t know things like this, allowing his new Daryl to tell him things about his father.

They fished in the summer and Daryl hunted with his crossbow. Their life was simple but perfect.

Rick read his lover sonnets while he fixed up his bike, they adopted Carl and were soon gaining custody of a little baby named Judith. Just last week Rick decided to quit his job to work at a local B&B, hell he could afford it.

Closing the fridge Rick smiled at a picture of Carl holding Judith, he touched it, thinking how much his other Daryl would be proud of him and how far the world had come. Closing his eyes he smiled, the sadness of Daryl Sr’s fate rarely hurting him these days, after all his life turned out better than expected.

“Hey baby, long time no see.” Rick didn’t turn around for a moment even though he knew what was happening, the twinge of his neck was enough of a warning if that sweet, rough voice wasn't.

“Shit, think I didn’t know something was up with you. With your fucking weird clothes, you had that weird ass watch too.”

Smiling Rick turned around. “An apple watch baby.”

“Yeah, that.” Daryl smiled, after all this time that shy grin still made Rick weak in the knees.

Rick knew it wasn't right to kiss the man, he looked just like he did when he was seventeen, tan and beautiful even as he hunched in on himself.

Rick had moved on and couldn’t be sad about that, had to do right by his new Daryl. Still he had to say what needed to be said. 

“I miss you, I will love you always.” Rick felt a twinge of remorse finally hit.

“Baby, I know all that.” Daryl reassured him.

“Then why are you here?” Rick started to cry, he never understood his gift and damn it, this was hard.

Daryl smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know really, I’m happy though. I spend most of my days running around with dogs and strangely a tiger, I walk in the woods a lot.”

“Really?” Rick embraced him then.

“You’re good for my son.” 

“Yeah.” Rick whispered. “But he never had it bad, like you, we just keep having it good together.”

“Not everyone needs saving Rick, you saved me. Thought a lot of nights about you telling me I needed to leave my pa and you were gone a long time when I decided to but I know I wouldn't have if I didn’t meet you. Hell I was a good dad because of you.” Daryl kissed the top of his head.

Rick didn’t agree with that, it was bullshit. Daryl was good before they met and afterwards, a better person than he could ever be but he was at a loss for words so he only nodded.

“Be good to him Rick and more importantly be good to yourself baby.”

The grip loosened and when Rick opened his eyes Daryl was gone.

Somehow something shifted inside him and he felt whole for the first time since he was a teen, before he met his old Daryl.

Turning back to the fridge he looked at another picture, one of Daryl Sr. straddling a bike. One he got well after Rick’s last Valentine’s Day. 

He did what he couldn’t with his old Daryl just now, he cried and kissed the photo gently, remembering only the good times he shared with the man.

Only one tear cascaded down, he realized he would never see an apparition of his old Daryl again but it was okay because he built a life he once imagined was never possible for someone who deserved it more than words could say.

“Baby, I’m only more because I met you.” Rick whispered.

With a peaceful aura within his core Daryl called out to his husband and Carl, it was a perfect day for a picnic and more memories.

How lucky can one man be to have two great loves.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I always intended a chapter 3 as a “pick your ending fic.” 
> 
> First it was going to be Rick seeing Daryl again as a ghost and being shocked. Only to discover Daryl is on a ghost loop and is “re living” their first day together. But creepy bc Daryl would be too young while Rick is still his current age.
> 
> Then I started a chapter where Daryl prayed to his dead mom for things to get better for him. Then Rick would discover Daryl still died but the year was pushed back and by the end somehow miraculously Daryl doesn’t die and Joins Rick in current time. I just couldn’t figure it out and writing is getting hard to do.
> 
> Maybe one day I’ll add a chapter.


End file.
